Many of the battles I have lost in my life have been lost to individuals who held their tongues, while I filled the silence with ignorance, emotion, and opinion.
My boyfriend, Jeremiah, is my greatest teacher in this regard. No matter his mood, his disappointment, his excitement, or his frustration, he is ALWAYS quick to listen and slow to speak. So slow and diligent, at times, it drives me mad. In my arrogant mind, his patient response is weak and vulnerable–a clear warning sign that intelligence is lacking and that he’s bound to get walked all over.
You see, I am a spitfire and a words-man. If I’m feeling something or opinionated about an issue, I often pride myself in articulating my thoughts well, whether or not the words are necessary at the time. After all, I’m my mother’s daughter…who is HER mother’s daughter. And no one has ever accused my lineage of ladies of being short on words.
While I pride myself on my ability to craft my words quickly, that pride is often the root of my failures.
That lesson has taken me a LONG time to learn.
Jeremiah and I snuggled up last night to watch the movie depicting the life of Jackie Robinson, “42”. As I watched the film, I first found myself a bit disappointed.
I sat there waiting for the Hollywood climax–where he would be attacked or imprisoned or beaten or abandoned–but the Hollywood climax never came. I waited for the moment where he would rush to the opponent’s dugout and take a swing at the taunting manager, yet the blow never came. I waited for the instance where he would let loose on the arrogant, racist fans in the crowd, yet the screams never came.
I thought of everything I would have yelled back at those people. I thought through every word I believed was necessary in the moment. I thought of the sarcasm and quick-wit I would have retaliated with–twisting their vicious words to make them look foolish.
And as my frustration rose–and my desire for him to defend himself and let the haters know that he was strong and articulate rose–one of the most poignant lines of the film echoed through the speakers.
“It doesn’t matter what I believe. Only what I do.” -Jackie Robinson
That line replayed over and over in my head…
It doesn’t matter what I believe. Only what I do.
It doesn’t matter what I think. Only what I do.
It doesn’t matter if I’m right or wrong. It matters what I do.
It doesn’t matter how well I can articulate my thoughts and opinions. It matters what I do.
It doesn’t matter what my emotions or opinions are about a topic. It matters what I do.
I often think it is my job to defend my mood, my opinions, my thoughts, my beliefs, my character, my decisions, my past.
I often think my words will certainly do the trick.
Then I’m often left disappointed when someone doesn’t understand, or the words don’t make a difference, or people simply don’t care. I take a lot of credit for my ability to change people’s minds with my words, yet I stand angered, at times, when the words just don’t weigh enough. And even more so, when my anxious need to drown my opponent in words only serves to make me look defensive, uncontrollable, and arrogant. When my words aren’t heard, I tend to yell louder.
But the Hollywood climax of the Jackie Robinson story is not loud. It is not bold or radical or outrageous. Rather, it is quietly woven throughout the entire film.
His greatest battle was not fought externally, it was fought within. His greatest battle was not fighting racism, it was fighting his own tongue. His greatest battle was not the hate he was surrounded with, it was the hate that had the potential to overcome his own heart, if he let his emotions win.
Our greatest battles in life do not need to be fought externally, they need to be fought within. Our greatest battle is not fighting people who disagree with us, it is fighting our own tongue. Our greatest battle is not the hate that surrounds us, it is the hate that has the potential to overcome our hearts if we let our emotions win.
I’m reminded of the scripture Exodus 14:14 that reads,
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
It doesn’t matter to others what we BELIEVE, if what we DO speaks louder.
What battles are you fighting in your life? And where are your emotion-driven actions and words overpowering what you say you believe?
Our society is plagued with a misunderstanding of what POWER truly is. POWER is not flexed through strong words, emotional argument, and complete control of others. True POWER is displayed in not allowing our desire for control of others to steal the merit from our character. True POWER is displayed in complete control of self. And for most everyone, that self-control can only be found in staying silent–when every bone in your body wants to scream.
Do not allow your desire to be heard to hijack the intentions of your heart. Do not allow your desire to control others to hijack your ability to control yourself.
What made Jackie Robinson great was that he was a passionate man who never let his passion overwhelm his purpose. He was an articulate man who never let his words outweigh his work. He was a powerful man who never let his strength abolish his strategy. He simply stayed silent.
And his silence spoke volumes for his strength.
