I’ve heard it too many times to count.
From friends, from family, from acquaintances. From myself.
“I just care SO much about this person. I care SO deeply that they come to know Jesus and accept salvation. It breaks my heart that they just don’t seem to ‘get it’.”
And yet we, the utterers of those words, just don’t seem to ‘get it’.
A sweet friend of mine has been through more than I can ever imagine in the past few years. She came from a family mainly comprised of non-believers and encountered Christ towards the beginning of college. Not too long after, still struggling with the chains and temptations of her past (just as we all do), she found herself pregnant at the age of 18. I watched this new believer swallow the shame of her mistakes, fight for the life of her child, battle the bondage of her repercussions, and embrace Jesus in an unfathomable way. I watched her lead her father into a deeper relationship with Christ. I watched her lead her friends into deeper relationships with Christ. I watched her lead ME into a deeper relationship with Christ. Then I watched her struggle again. Just over one year after the birth of her daughter, my friend found herself at the deathbed of her brother, who battled heroin addiction and countless demons in his own life. In his final, dying days, I watched her lead her brother to Christ. And I watched her slowly ache and grieve and mend from the earthly loss of her very best friend.
Then I watched her change focus and set her eyes on her mother. Her mother’s salvation.
With the best of intentions, I watched and listened as my friend grieved for her mother’s heart. I watched her grapple through what it would “take” for her mother to ‘get it’, what more would possibly have to happen for her non-believing mom to just understand the power of Jesus’ healing touch? What more would have to occur for her mom to grasp the Sovereignty of God? My friend had certainly seen the Might of God through these storms–how could her mom have missed it?
So I watched as my friend prayed through this, worked through this, loved through this…but, eventually, grew resentful through this. You see, Christ’s encounter had been SO bold in her own life, in her father’s life, in her brother’s life, she began to grow resentful and critical of her mother’s life. Namely, her mother’s heart. How hardened and lost was this woman? How is it that she just can’t grasp it?
As a result of this resentfulness, I saw my friend’s interactions with her mom revert to what they had been before she was ever saved. She became quick-tempered, easily-frustrated, annoyed and weary. She tried to exercise patience, but comments her mom would make or her lack of understanding began to hurt my friend so deeply, that her cry for her mom’s salvation subconsciously became a covetous cry for her own reprieve.
“I just care SO much about this person. I care SO deeply that they come to know Jesus and accept salvation. It breaks my heart that they just don’t seem to ‘get it’.”
The cry that had originally echoed such genuine truth, now echoed such frustration and bitterness. It echoed selfishness.
She explained that she was scared that her mom may live her whole life and never come to know salvation through Jesus Christ. While I agreed that was a legitimate fear and one that should compel all of us to share the Gospel with great haste, it was her next few words that struck a chord in my heart.
“I just want to spend eternity with my mom in Heaven…”
STOP. Right there. The root of where our heart-cry takes a turn for selfishness.
As I thought through her words, I couldn’t help but think about my father. The father I lost so early. The father I never truly appreciated when I had him. The father who’s salvation I won’t truly be sure of until the day I either see him in heaven or do not. The father whom I may never see again.
What I realized in that moment was a truth that we all MUST absorb RIGHT NOW. It is a genuine and legitimate concern to earnestly desire the salvation of others and pray they come to know Jesus. It is a prayer we should pray without ceasing. But, based on what we as human beings can control, our ONLY response to that concern can be to MAXIMIZE our time on earth with that person and LITERALLY bring Heaven to earth in our relationship with them here. The more that person sees Heaven and Jesus through our relationship with them, the more they will crave Heaven and Jesus forevermore. If we are praying for their salvation and wanting to spend eternity with them, then wasting our time arguing and being short-tempered and impatient, we are only drawing further from the desires of our heart. When we are praying for the opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven with another person, yet squandering our time with them here on earth, all we are REALLY doing is coveting a time we can be with that person in perfection, rather than appreciating that person in their brokenness.
Jesus appreciated us in our brokenness. We must appreciate others in theirs.
We are hindering the opportunity of salvation for another when we desire for someone to come to know Jesus, while avoiding the responsibility that they may only come to see and know Jesus through us. We selfishly desire the happy ending–where all is good and peaceful and right–yet we fail to endure in bringing a preview of that ending to the present, so they can see a glimpse of what God has in store.
We desire the best, yet we fail to invest. We allow our frustration and arrogance and ego to reign, rather than allowing them to bow at His name.
I know what you’re probably thinking right now.
Geeze, Mo, show some sympathy. That’s asking a lot of your friend to hold it all together and continue to be gracious towards her mom in the midst of all the chaos of her own life. And what’s more, that’s asking a lot of me, because you just don’t know how much this person hurts me…you just don’t know how long I’ve been trying so hard to be so patient and loving towards this individual…you just don’t know how many times they have thrown my grace back in my face…you just don’t know what I’ve endured…
You’re absolutely right. I don’t know the specifics of your circumstance. But I do know that your words could so easily roll off the lips of God–you just don’t know how much you have hurt Me…you just don’t know how long I’ve been so patient and loving towards you…you just don’t know how many times you have thrown My grace back in My face…you just don’t know what I’ve endured…” and yet He NEVER wavered in enduring it all on your behalf. On our behalf. On the behalf of the person you care for.
God’s devotion to our salvation never waned. Let our devotion to our brothers’ salvation be a beautiful echo of that endurance.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
