Today was one of those days.
Today was one of those head-to-toe, mentally, physically, emotionally exhausting kind of days.
Today was one of those back-aching, eye-blurring, tear-soaked kind of days.
Today was one of those pound your fists against the sink, demand to know what God is doing kind of days.
Today was one of those crumpled on the bathroom floor begging Jesus to return soon kind of days.
Today was one of those days.
The Sole Hope family welcomed 7 children from the village of Bulopa today. A pastor in the remote district had recently reached out for help with some of the worst cases of jiggers in his community. With vacancy in the Outreach House–where individuals who need intensive treatment will come and stay for extended periods of time–our shy new friends timidly arrived with stoic stares and filthy faces.
Having served with Sole Hope two years in a row now, I’ve seen many feet with many jiggers. But nothing could have prepared me for the tiny foot that made it’s way into my lap today. Visibly, I could see close to 20 jiggers beneath his coarse skin. But amidst the foot-rot and calloused scabs, I soon discovered close to 25 more.
In just one foot. One sweet, delicate foot. One tiny foot that, 7 years before, had been knit perfectly together in his mother’s womb. 45 jiggers.
Today was one of those days.
Today was one of those days where you break through 4 razor blades trying to carefully shave back scabs and scars.
Today was one of those days where you feel a baby’s trembling muscles convulse in pain. Because of what YOU are doing to them. What you MUST do to help them in the long-run.
Today was one of those days where your ears ring with the shrieks of helpless children crying out for their deceased mothers, wailing out to God, and screaming so loudly their voices strain and scratch.
Today was one of those days.
For three hours I remained hunched over one single foot on one single boy. With every new jigger I began to remove, I fought back the type of tears that were not ones of pity…or fear…or even frustration. They were the types of tears that are made of true anguish. That roll out from the depths of the heart. That rolled out as I watched the work of my own hands.
The same hands that clapped and tickled and hugged these babies just one hour before were now exposing raw flesh and extracting the mess and dabbing the blood that flowed with it. These hands were now in a tug of war match with the anguish of the afflicted, fighting the thrashing and kicking. The works of these hands was essential…but so very painful.
I found my heart in dialogue with God. Desperate dialogue. Angry, frustrated, helpless dialogue. I fought with God as I fought through the labor. The labor He asks of us. The service that pains us. The work we don’t always understand.
And in the midst of the screams and the thrashing and the blood, He simply whispered, Jesus
Today was one of those days.
Today was one of those days He understood the pain of the child.
Today was one of those days He understood the pain in my heart due to the necessary work of my hands.
Today was one of those days He reminded me that He knows it all too well.
Today was one those days He painted a clearer picture of Jesus.
Today was one of those days.
Pain is NECESSARY in the removal of a jigger. It MUST be endured in order to assure life and vitality in the long-run. The pain is temporary, but the purpose is perfect. And powerful.
If it broke my heart so deeply to inflict PURPOSEFUL, PERFECT pain on a child I just met, I can only imagine the indescribable, unimaginable anguish in God’s heart when He knowingly inflicted PURPOSEFUL, PERFECT, POWERFUL pain on HIS OWN SON. The pain of an innocent life lived through harassment and doubt. The pain of judgment, condemnation by man, lashes, beatings, and crucifixion. The pain of being nailed to a cross, hung to die, taunted and victimized. The pain of gasping for breath to save the lives of the ones spitting from below. PURPOSEFUL, PERFECT, POWERFUL pain at the hands of a Father.
An anguished Father.
Yet He knew what was best. He knew the pain was NECESSARY for the removal of sin. That it MUST be endured in order to assure life everlasting through grace. That the pain was temporary, but the purpose was perfect. And powerful.
For YOU. And for me.
Today was one of those days.
Today was one of those days where He reminded me that I will NOT always understand the anguish, but even in the suffering, His plans are ALWAYS good.
Today was one of those days where I gained a completely new perspective of the Gospel.
Today was one of those days where I fell deeper in love with a very real King.
In the sovereign and mighty name of Jesus, today was one of those days.
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